Soul Fire a NaruHina fan fic
Volume 3
Chapter 37: Rebirth
The girl poured over the finely written words, trying to memorise every single one. She thought she must have read the lengthy scroll, end to end, a dozen times in the last week. Every morning and evening she would retreat to her room, take out the scroll and med kit and try to learn everything she could. She had to learn it all, she told herself. The drive she had lost when her life had been turned upside down, had now returned, stronger than ever. She needed to be strong if she wanted to be near him.
Hinata paused as she came to a particular sentence. Her brows furrowed as she carefully read each word, trying to decipher their meaning.
Excessive accelerated cell regeneration may result in temporary reduction in foreign chakra tolerance limits due to degradation of outer membrane integrity and weakening of base protein structure.
There were a few passages like this that had been giving her trouble. She wracked her brain, trying to think back to her all too brief lessons with Sakura. The words sounded familiar, but she just couldnt pry the meaning from their cryptic code.
The girl looked up at the ceiling and sighed. I need help. She thought. Ill have to ask her some time soon. And she has to say yes. I have to convince her to say yes. Returning to the scroll, she skipped the confusing passage and moved on. I have to prove that I can do this.
Shed just finished the section on bone structure, when a knock sounded at her bedroom door.
Hey Hinata. Come on, its time to go outside. An eager voice called from the hallway.
Her heart still thrummed whenever he said her name. Uh, y-yes Im coming N-Naruto. The girl called back as she quickly but carefully rolled up the scroll and tucked it away in her bag. Zipping up her thick hooded jacket, she dashed out the door.
The boy was waiting for her at the top of the stairs. He flashed her that joyful smile that always made her cheeks tingle with warmth. She couldnt help but smile back as she joined him, and they rushed down the narrow winding stairs.
Slow down morons! I dont feel like fixing any broken necks today. The snow haired woman yelled, as she followed them down.
The teens slowed their pace, but still hurried their way to the bottom of the staircase. They stepped out onto the forest floor where a cool breeze, thick with the sweet scent of the woods, washed over them. The boy paused to take a deep breath of fresh air and stretched his arms out wide. Ah man, I feel like Ive been cooped up in that house for a week. He exclaimed to nobody in particular.
Yeah, thats probably because you have been. Hitomi said mockingly, as she joined the pair.
Naruto just stuck his tongue out over his shoulder, before weaving his way through the trees toward the open ground beyond.
Hinata watched him from behind, noticing the swing in his arms and the spring in his step. He loved getting out of the house, where he could run around and burn off some of his pent up energy. His wounds slowed down his body, but not his spirit. His mood was almost infectious, and Hinata felt strangely energised just from watching him.
Come on kiddo, time for your exercises. Hitomi called back as she walked past the girl.
Hinata shook off her trance with a slight blush, and followed her into the open air. She stifled a giggle as she saw the boy. He was balancing on the edge of the low cliff that overlooked the lake at the edge of the clearing. His arms wheeled to keep him upright as he tried to peer over the edge.
Knock it off. Hitomi ordered with a roll of her eyes. No goofing around until youve done your exercises.
Lining up in front of the snow haired woman, the teens began their daily physical therapy routine. They worked through a series of stretches and exercises, to maintain muscle strength and flexibility during recovery. These were followed by more exercises intended to stimulate chakra flow, without causing stress to a damaged network. Once Hitomi was satisfied, she released them to do whatever they wanted. Naruto of course, immediately dashed off into the field to play his rock hopping game. Hinata mostly just watched him, as she took a more leisurely walk around the clearing. Sometimes he would walk with her, sometimes he even managed to persuade her to join him. But today she just watched, as he jumped from rock to boulder, balancing on one foot, or trying the occasional back-flip or somersault. A part of her wished he would ask her to join today, but she was more than content to watch.
In a swirl of white hair, Hitomi alighted on a rock between them. Okay guys. Thats enough for today.
Naruto groaned in protest. Come on, weve only been out a couple of hours.
Hitomi focused her byakugan and looked the boy up and down. I can tell that your network is under stress. Youre trying to use chakra to stick to the rocks, arent you? You know you havent recovered enough to try that yet. She gave him a disapproving look. Im sick of telling you to take it easy. Now come back in or youll get another twisted ankle.
Naruto snorted dismissively and rolled his eyes. No I wont.
Hitomi grinned at him devilishly. Oh yes you will. She said as she cracked her knuckles.
The two teens reluctantly made their way back to the tree house. Reaching the top of the stairs, Hinata immediately headed for her room. She needed to get back to her studies.
Uh, hey Hinata? The boy called after her. Do you want to hang out for a while?
The girls heart fluttered. She hesitated for a moment, but quickly decided that her studies could wait. O-okay.
Both teens leant against the balcony railing, looking down upon the small lake below. Theyd spent more than a few hours out there over the past week, talking about anything and everything. Though in truth, it was Naruto who did most of the talking. As usual, Hinata was content to listen. It was enough for her just to be near him, at least for now. Though there was something shed been wanting to ask him. Shed been trying to summon the courage for a while now.
The girl saw a chance during a brief moment of silence, when hed just finished telling her about the first time hed managed to eat a whole bowl of Ichiraku ramen in under ten seconds. Um, N-Naruto... c-could I ask you something?
The boy snapped out of his nostalgic trance and turned to face her. Uh, sure Hinata, whats up?
The girl tapped her fingers together nervously. Well I w-wanted to know. I-is it true that you l-like... w-watering plants?
There was a brief moment of surprise, before a broad smile spread its way across the boys face.
Hitomi stole another glance over the top of her book at the two teenagers out on the balcony. She didnt know exactly what had happened to bring the girl out of her shell, and frankly she didnt care. There was something different about her; that was clear as day. Maybe now I can help her. Hitomi thought with a smile. Somehow the idiot seems to have helped her out of that hole she was in. Shes got a little bit of a spark in her now. If she has something to work toward, she may actually survive. She returned her attention to her book, leaving the teens to their conversation. Ill wait another week or so, when theyll be fully recovered. Then Ill ask her if shes interested.
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Naruto sat on the examination table, staring up at the ceiling, bored out of his mind as always. For two whole weeks now it had been the same thing. Hitomi would bring him into the infirmary, shed stare at him with those eyes of hers, and shed make a comment about how he was doing using a bunch of words he didnt understand. Usually hed just ignore her and think about ramen, or stare out the window and wish he could go outside and start training again. Hed given up asking her when that would happen. He was so sick of being stuck in that house with nothing to do that he almost wanted to scream. And if he didnt have Hinata to talk to, he probably would. He liked having somebody around to hang out with. Sure it would be nicer if shed talk a little more, but that was okay. At least she listened to him, instead of just making some stupid joke and then shoving her nose back in her book, like Hitomi did.
The boy jumped a little, as the snow haired woman snapped her fingers in front of his face. Huh, w-what?
Welcome back moron. Hitomi said with a sarcastic smirk. I said, show me those chakra exercises.
Oh right, sorry. The boy began running through the sequence of chakra manipulation exercises hed been performing for the last two weeks.
Hitomi watched him intently with her byakugan. Are you feeling any pain? She asked.
Naruto stopped to think for a moment. Hmm, no I guess not. It used to hurt a little bit when I first learned the exercises, but not anymore.
Hitomi smiled a little. Alright then, why dont you try building up a little more chakra?
The boy did as he was told, while Hitomi watched. He closed his eyes and concentrated on his core, the source of his chakra. Gradually it began to build.
Does it hurt yet? Hitomi asked.
The boy shook his head slowly as he continued to concentrate.
Keep going until it does. She said, while carefully watching his chakra network.
The boy squeezed his eyes tight as he drew on his chakra. He felt a tingling sensation run through his whole body, but he wouldnt exactly call it pain, so he kept going. It seemed like such a long time since hed done this simple exercise. Hed almost forgotten what it was like. The energy radiated from his core, flowing outward in pulsing waves. It felt good to have that power coursing through him again.
Still not feeling any pain? Hitomi asked. The boy just shook his head again. Alright, thatll do. Now take off your shirt so I can have a closer look at that seal.
The boy snapped his eyes open with a start and stared at the woman. W-wait, you know about it? He asked in surprise, and with a little bit of fear.
Hitomi gave him a dismissive look. Well of course I know about it. You think Tsunade would have sent me off with you two without bothering to mention that little piece of information? She rolled her eyes at him. Now lose the shirt. I havent got all day.
The boy reluctantly did as he was told and lay down on the table. She knows about it. He thought apprehensively. Is that why shes always being mean and making fun of me?
Hitomi stood next to the examining table and began making hand signs. Refocusing her byakugan again, she brushed her long white hair over her shoulder and bent over him. With the tip of her index finger, she traced a spiral over the boys stomach. The hidden symbols soon began to appear on his skin. Through her byakugan she could just make out the barrier that separated the boys chakra network from the beast within him. Looking closer she could almost make out where Fox chakra met with the boys chakra. She traced the lines of the seal with her fingertips, as she watched the two chakras flow together and merge. It seemed that the balance had finally been restored.
Naruto tried to stifle a giggle as her touch tickled him. He lifted his head, to find the woman looking at his bare stomach very closely. Warm blood rushed to his face. She was so close he could feel her breath. He tensed as a strand of her long white hair fell off her shoulder and brushed his skin. Desperately, the boy tried to keep the wrong kind of thoughts out of his head.
All of a sudden, Hitomi snapped her head up and glared at him. Oh get over yourself lover boy. She said with a tone of disgust. She poked him hard in the stomach as she stood straight.
The boy clutched his stomach and tried not to look at her. He would have been angry if he werent so embarrassed. He sat himself up and stared out the window, still trying not to think unsavoury thoughts.
So, when are you going to tell her? Hitomi asked over her shoulder as she scribbled a few notes.
Uh, w-what do you mean? The boy replied with a quiver in his voice, still trying not to look at her.
Leaving her notes, Hitomi planted herself square in front of him and gave him a serious look. When were you planning on telling Hinata about your tenant?
The boy fell silent. He hadnt really thought about telling her. In fact, hed been trying not to think about that whole subject entirely. He stared at the floor and fidgeted for a while before saying anything. W-well Im not really sure I should tell her any time soon. I mean, thats the reason her mind got all messed up, right? Maybe its better if she just doesnt know at all.
Hitomi folded her arms across her chest and frowned. Hmm, well I guess its your choice kid. But think about this: would you prefer it if you told her, or if she found out by accident?
W-what do you mean by accident? The boy asked apprehensively.
I know youre not in complete control of that thing. Hitomi said sternly. And Ive been told that it can get out if you push yourself too hard, or lose your temper. Shed probably take it better if you told her about it first, than she would if she saw it without knowing. I know its a touchy subject for you, so I wont pressure you into telling her. But you should at least think about it.
The boy hung his head. The last thing he wanted was to put her through any more pain. Hinata was the only friend he had left. He just couldnt bear the thought of things going back to the way they were just a few weeks ago.
--
The girl sat in the living room, while Hitomi finished Narutos daily check up. It was her turn next and she was nervous, but not because of any treatments she might receive. She looked down at the tightly wound scroll in her hands and resisted the urge to go over those difficult passages again. She knew shed learned everything she could by herself. Now she would need somebody to help her if she wanted to learn more.
Ive put this off long enough. Hinata told herself. I have to ask her today. I need to learn more if I want to stay with Naruto. I have to prove that Im strong enough to walk beside him. I cant be a burden to him anymore. She wrung the scroll in her hands nervously. I just hope Miss Hitomi says yes. I hope Ive learned enough to prove that I can do it.
The infirmary door opened, and the girl quickly hid the scroll behind her back. Please let her say yes, please. She turned away a little and tried not to blush as the blonde haired boy stepped out. He gave her a brief smile, before heading out onto the balcony with his head down. The girl wondered why he was so quiet all of a sudden, but the snow haired woman caught her attention.
Your turn, kiddo. Come on in. Hitomi said, waving the girl into the infirmary.
Hinata stepped into the room and hopped up onto the examining table without a word. Still feeling nervous, she put the scroll down behind her back. Ill ask her after she finishes her examination. She thought, though she knew she was just making excuses. She silently lamented her lack of nerve as she sat there twiddling her fingers.
Hitomis keen eyes hadnt missed the scroll the young woman was carrying. She knew it must be something important, but judging by the girls fidgeting she wasnt ready to tell her what it was yet. The snow haired woman was intrigued, but she didnt want to push the girl for answers. She would let her speak when she was ready.
Alright then kiddo, lets see how youre doing. Hitomi focused her byakugan and gently took the girls right hand. Have you had any more pain? She asked as she examined her chakra pathways.
The girl just shook her head in response. Shed been watching the woman carefully as she performed her daily examinations. Shed marvelled as Hitomi used her medical jutsu to heal her wounded hand and soothe her aching eyes. Hinata had no doubt about her skill. Her vision was clear again and she didnt have any trouble with her hand anymore. She only hoped she could be half as good as Hitomi some day.
Hmm...How about you take off your jacket for a minute? I want to take a closer look. Hitomi said.
The girl slipped out of her thick lavender hoodie with a slight hint of reluctance. She always felt a little bit exposed without it.
Hitomi took her hand again and began to trace her chakra pathways up the girls arm. One by one, she marked out her chakra points with her fingertip. She watched the tightly wound coils of blue fire and studied how they reacted to her gentle probing. She stopped at the girls elbow and dissipated the healing energies in her finger. Looks like your hand is doing just fine. She said with a smile. With her byakugan still active, she traced the pathways back to the girls heart, then outward again. Taking her time, she carefully examined each of her coils.
Hitomi paused as she noticed something out of place. Hmm... Youre not having any trouble with your left shoulder, are you?
The girl was perplexed by her question. Um... n-no. Why do you ask?
Youll have to take your shirt off. Hitomi told her. I need to get a clear view of your shoulder.
Hinata hesitated. Hitomi was a woman and a doctor, so she wasnt so troubled about letting her see her underwear; but the thought of Naruto being in the other room made her nervous. Even after two weeks of living in the same house with him, she still couldnt get comfortable. That encounter with him in the hallway that first morning still made her blush. Now she made sure to never leave her room unless she was fully clothed, and she always double checked the lock on the bathroom door before she showered. Right then, she pictured him walking into the infirmary and seeing her in nothing but a bra. Her face flushed red at the thought.
Whats the problem? Hitomi asked, seeing the girls flustered condition.
Oh um... n-nothing... Hinata mumbled. She reluctantly slipped off her shirt and tried not to tremble. She shot fearful glances at the door, while Hitomi examined her shoulder.
Hmm, thats quite a scar youve got there kiddo. Hitomi said as she ran her fingers over the discoloured mark on the girls otherwise clean skin.
A chill ran down Hinatas spine. She suddenly forgot about the boy in the next room. She hadnt noticed that scar on her shoulder until shed woken up in the hospital a few weeks ago. She didnt know where it had come from, and every time she tried to remember it gave her chills.
It looks like it grazed one of your chakra pathways, but there doesnt seem to be any real damage. Hitomi said as she finished her examination. I dont think its anything to worry about. You can go ahead and put your shirt back on.
Hinata quickly slipped her shirt on again, followed by her thick hooded jacket. She hugged herself a little, trying to banish the chill.
Well, it looks like youre doing fine so far. All thats left is your eyes. Hitomi gently took the girls face in her hands and began studying her ocular pathways. Like all Hyuuga, the coils leading to her eyes were greatly overdeveloped. Of course they needed to be, in order to channel the massive amounts of chakra required by the byakugan. Any pain or blurred vision? Hitomi asked.
Uh n-no, none at all. The girl answered quietly.
Glad to hear it. Hitomi said with a smile as she continued checking her pathways. Id say youve healed up perfectly. She added, though something was puzzling her.
The girls chakra pathways had healed spectacularly, that was certain. But the extent of the healing that theyd undergone was surprising. Having not met the girl until a few weeks after shed suffered her injuries, Hitomi didnt know how much damage theyd sustained to begin with. She also didnt know what her chakra pathways had looked like before the damage had occurred. But from what she could tell, the girls ocular coils seemed to have almost completely rebuilt themselves. At first shed thought most of the repairs had been Tsunades work. But ever since the girls pathways had begun reopening two weeks ago, shed noticed that theyd started changing. Hinatas ocular chakra pathways had reacted strangely to Hitomis healing jutsu. Wherever Hitomi focused her medical ninjutsu, Hinatas chakra pathways seemed to heal, but then began to break down again the next day. This worried the snow haired woman at first, but after a few days, the girls ocular network looked perfectly normal. Wherever it had broken down, it had eventually rebuilt itself. The confusing thing was that Hitomis healing jutsu seemed to be causing the pathways to break down. After they had broken down though, her healing jutsu seemed to work as normal again. If she was honest, she didnt exactly know what that meant. But if nothing else, it was unusual. Hitomi decided she would have to keep a very close eye on the young woman.
Alright then, I guess that just about does it. Hitomi declared, giving the girl a cheerful smile. She released her byakugan and moved to the desk to record her notes. Just wait outside for a minute while I finish up in here.
Hinata slid off the examining table, but she didnt head for the door. Now was the time to ask. Shed promised herself that she wouldnt wait any longer. She stood there for half a minute, tugging the hem of her jacket and looking at the floor, as she tried to summon her courage. She had to ask her now, and she had to convince her to say yes.
Hitomi stopped writing her notes when she realised that the girl hadnt left. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Hinata standing there fidgeting. Whats wrong kiddo? Is there something you need?
Hinata swallowed hard. It was now or never. I um... I w-wanted to ask you something. She said meekly.
Hitomi put down her pen and turned to face the girl. She knew this must be something serious. Sure, go ahead.
Hinata chewed her lip and shifted from one foot to the other nervously. Shed planned out exactly how she was going to ask, but as usual, her mind had gone completely blank. Hitomi was staring at her expectantly, which didnt exactly help. But there was no going back. She summoned all her courage, took a deep breath, stood herself straight and bowed to the woman. P-please t-t-teach me medicine. She blurted out.
Hitomi was both surprised and amused by her request, not to mention, more than a little pleased. You want me to teach you medicine?
Um... y-yes please. Hinata squeaked. Still keeping her head bowed, she held the scroll out in front of her. I-Ive been s-studying this scroll, a-and I know a-almost all of it. Ive already l-learned some simple healing jutsu as well. I p-promise Ill work hard a-and do whatever you t-tell me.
Hitomi couldnt help but smirk at the poor girls nervousness. She took the scroll, opened it and read the first few passages. She immediately noticed something familiar about it. Hmm... where did you get this? She asked.
Um, S-Sakura gave it to me, w-when we left the v-village. Hinata answered.
Hitomi smiled as she read a few more lines. Of course, this is exactly the same stuff that Tsunade taught me when I first started. She thought. She looked further into the scroll, skimming its contents. She noticed there were quite a few tough subjects. So youve studied all of this? She asked.
Um, w-well yes but I... The girls shoulders drooped slightly. ...I d-dont quite understand all of it. She mumbled ashamedly.
Hitomi rolled up the scroll with one deft flick of her wrist. She looked down at the young woman, who was still bowing her head and fidgeting. This couldnt be better. Hitomi thought to herself. Her lips only betrayed a slight smirk, but on the inside she was pumping her fist in the air and grinning like the blonde haired idiot in the other room. Shes already found herself something to work toward, and it looks like the kids willing to stick with it too. Thats exactly what she needs if she wants to survive in this life. The woman thought with both pride and relief. If shes learned half of whats in this scroll, then shes well on her way. And her choice couldnt have been more perfect for me either. She struggled to keep from giggling as she watched the poor girl tremble.
Hinata was growing increasingly nervous. The longer Hitomi didnt say anything, the more her fears and doubts grew. What if she says no? What if she thinks Im not good enough? What if I really am not good enough? The girl bit her lip and tried to hold back the moisture in her eyes. Oh please let her say yes.
Hitomi could clearly see the young womans anxiety, and she couldnt stand to let her sweat any longer. She reached out and put a hand on the girls shoulder. You know what kiddo? She said to her softly. I think Id like to have a medical assistant.
The girl looked up at the woman, her lavender eyes filled with hope. S-so does that mean youll t-teach me?
Hitomi smiled warmly. Well as a matter of fact, if you hadnt asked, I would have offered to teach you anyway.
The girls mouth dropped open, then gradually widened into a smile. R-really? Y-you mean you really w-wanted to teach me? You really th-think Im good enough?
Hitomi laughed. Kid, I think youre more than good enough. I would be proud to teach you medicine.
With a squeal of delight, Hinata threw her arms around the snow haired womans shoulders. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much Miss Hitomi.
Surprised by the girls sudden outburst, Hitomi nearly lost her balance. She hadnt expected her to be quite so overjoyed.
Suddenly realising her overzealous behaviour, Hinata quickly released the woman and stepped back. Oh, Im s-so sorry. P-please forgive me M-Miss Hitomi. She said, bowing her head in apology.
Hitomi couldnt help but laugh. Dont worry about it kiddo. She handed the scroll back to the young woman. And you can stop calling me Miss Hitomi. She caught the girls eye and gave her a smirk. From now on, its Hitomi Sensei.
The smile returned to the girls face. Thank you... Hitomi Sensei.
The snow haired woman felt a tingle of warmth in her heart; a familiar feeling, that reminded her of another young girl. I was right. She thought. It is happening all over again. She let the bitter-sweet memory linger for a moment, before turning her attention back to her new apprentice. Alright then, you wanted help with some of the things in that scroll, didnt you?
Hinata nodded. Yes, I tried my best, b-but there were some passages I couldnt figure out.
No problem. Hitomi said encouragingly. Well begin your lessons tomorrow. First Ill help you with anything you dont understand in that scroll of yours. Then once youve got the basics down, Ill teach you some of the more advanced stuff. And if you work hard and stick with it, I might even teach you some of my own special techniques. Would you like that kiddo?
Yes Hitomi Sensei. Hinata said enthusiastically. But then an unpleasant memory tugged at the girls mind and her smile vanished. There was one subject in particular that she wanted to learn about. Oh... um S-Sensei, c-could you teach me about p-poisons?
Hitomi cocked an eyebrow. Poisons? Why do you want to know about that kind of stuff?
Hinata shrunk into herself a little and began fidgeting again. W-well, one of the last things I remember b-before waking up in the hospital w-was my team mates being hurt by some kind of p-poison. I d-didnt know what to do. Th-they almost d-died and I c-couldnt help them.
Hitomi felt a weight in her stomach. She knew just what the girl was feeling. Well to be honest, Im not exactly an expert on poisons. She said dejectedly. Tsunade taught me a few things about poisons and antidotes, and Ill teach you everything I know, but I may not be the best teacher on that subject. Shizune was the one that had a knack for that kind of thing.
Tsunade? The girl was taken aback. Y-you mean you were trained by Lady Hokage?
Did I forget to mention that? Yes, I trained under Lady Tsunade for a few years. I travelled with her and Shizune when I was younger. Hitomi said.
The girl looked up at her with awe. So you were trained by the legendary Sannin healer Tsunade, just like Sakura was. Y-you must know so much about medicine.
Hitomi shrugged. Compared to Tsunade, not really. Shes probably forgotten more about medicine than Ill ever know. She chuckled to herself a little. But there is one advantage I have that Tsunade doesnt. She said, indicating her pupil-less pale blue eyes.
Oh yes, Sakura said the byakugan would be very useful for medicine. L-like the way you can diagnose an injury just by looking. Hinata said thoughtfully.
The snow haired woman laughed. Kid, you have no idea! Youve probably only scratched the surface of what your byakugan can do when it comes to medical ninjutsu. It helps in diagnosis, sure. But theres a whole lot of other ways you can use the byakugan.
Oh, you mean like the way you can apply your healing jutsu to a persons chakra points? Hinata asked.
Hitomi smirked. Oh, so you noticed that. Yeah thats one of my little tricks. You see, most doctors and surgeons specialise in one particular field of medicine, and medical ninja are the same. Some of them specialise in poisons, or diseases, or mental conditions, or in treating one particular organ like the heart. Medical ninja like Tsunade, who are experts in every field, are extremely rare. I didnt spend enough time with her to learn the really advanced stuff, but I was able to take what she taught me and combine it with my knowledge of the gentle fist style. I guess Im what youd call a chakra network specialist.
Hinata looked down at her right hand. S-so thats why you were able to heal our injuries so well. She thought out loud.
Thanks kiddo. Hitomi said with a chuckle. That chakra point healing trick is one of the special techniques I developed myself. As far as I know, Im the only person in the world that uses it.
R-really? D-do you think you could teach me to do that? Hinata asked hopefully.
I dont see why not. Hitomi said with abroad smile. But its not going to be easy to learn. You need very precise chakra control, and you have to be able to see the patients chakra network perfectly. It also helps if youre an expert in the gentle fist style.
At those words, Hinatas heart dropped. Oh... I g-guess I cant learn to do that then. She mumbled disappointedly. M-my byakugan has never been very strong. I c-cant even see chakra points m-most of the time. A-and Ive never been v-very good at the gentle fist.
Hitomi felt her heart sink a little as well. Hmm... Well dont give up yet kiddo. You could probably still learn if you really work for it. I mean its not as hard as striking chakra points in battle. She stroked her chin in thought for a moment. So how well can you see chakra points anyway?
Well if I c-concentrate, I can usually see a few of them at once. Hinata answered half heartedly.
Okay then, why dont we check how strong your eyes are? Hitomi suggested. How about you try looking at my chakra network right now?
The girl was a little bit nervous at that prospect. B-but I havent used my byakugan f-for so long.
Well theres no time like the present. Hitomi said, shrugging her shoulders. Your ocular pathways are doing fine. You should be able to use it again without any problems.
A-alright. Hinata took a moment to prepare herself. She took a few deep breaths, closed her eyes and focused her mind on her chakra core. Slowly and deliberately, she made the hand signs. Still fearful that she would feel pain, or make some kind of mistake, she drew her chakra to her eyes carefully.
Hinata had been using her byakugan since she was a child. Shed activated her Kekkei Genkai thousands of times. But this time, something was very, very different! She had drawn only the slightest amount of chakra from her core and pushed it ever so gently into her ocular coils. But the instant the girls chakra reached her eyes, her pathways opened like floodgates. Hinata gasped in shock as she was overwhelmed by a massive, unexpected surge of chakra. She tried to hold it back, but it was like her eyes were drawing upon her chakra themselves. An intense pressure pulsed through her temples as the girls ocular coils bulged, pouring blue fire into the hungry lavender orbs. Her eyes devoured the flood of energy and Hinatas vision was consumed by a brilliant white haze.
The girl froze in place, not daring to move. Her ears were ringing and she felt nothing but the massive flow of chakra pouring through her pathways. It was intense, overwhelming and frightening, yet what truly surprised her, was that she wasnt in any pain. The pressure in her temples was incredible, and the chakra felt like fire and ice in her pulsing coils; yet she felt energized and invigorated, like she was bathing under a rushing waterfall. The girl felt like she had been suddenly awakened from a long and deep sleep. Her fear gradually began to abate and she heard a muffled voice over the ringing in her ears.
Hitomi shook the girl by the shoulders again. Hinata, can you hear me? She said for the third time. The girls mouth and eyes were wide open and she didnt move a muscle. Hinata whats wrong, are you in pain? What happened? This time the girl seemed to respond.
Hinata focused her mind on the voice and began searching for the face it belonged to within the blinding haze of white. H-Hitomi S-Sensei? She managed to whisper. Gradually, something began to appear before her eyes. Lines of blue fire weaved together and formed the outline of a persons chakra network. With a trembling hand, the girl reached out toward the face in front of her. She felt warm skin under her fingertips and in an instant the consuming haze fell away. The outlines of the infirmary room and its contents appeared around her, everything appearing washed out and intangible as they always did when viewed through her byakugan. But not everything was the same as it usually was.
Hitomi focused on the girls ocular pathways with her own byakugan. She could see the heavy flow of chakra, but saw no signs of damage. She took the girls hand and held it tightly. Hinata whats wrong? Tell me what happened. She said slowly and clearly.
The girl looked down at the hand clasping her own and the tiny pinpoints of blue-white energy that were dotted upon it. S-Sensei... I-I can s-see them. She breathed.
What do you mean? You can see what? Hitomi asked in puzzlement. She had no idea what was happening to the girl.
Hinata suddenly snapped her head around. Through the wall, she saw another mass of blue coils. She could see the blond haired boy leaning on the rail out on the balcony. The same tiny points of light flared across his skin. She turned back to the woman in front of her. I c-can see your ch-chakra points. She said breathlessly. I-I can see all of them... a-and Narutos too.
Hitomi focused her own sight through the wall and found the boy. She could see his points herself, but it wasnt exactly easy. Hinata, are you in any pain? She asked the girl seriously.
The girl thought for a moment. She felt a slight tingle in her temples, but nothing serious. Um, n-no not really.
Hitomi wasnt entirely convinced. Hinata, I want you to deactivate your byakugan. She said, with a slight firmness in her tone.
The girl tried to do so, but once again she noticed something different. Normally maintaining her byakugan required constant effort. She had to keep pushing the chakra into her eyes, or it would fail. But now, her eyes seemed to be drawing chakra without her even thinking about it. Instead of just not concentrating and letting the flow stop, she actually had to force it to stop. She blinked a few times as her surroundings regained their colour and solidity. The girl felt her ocular pathways relax, leaving her with a fuzzy feeling in her temples.
Hitomi saw the chakra flow recede and quickly began checking the girls coils for any signs of injury. Hinata, what happened? Why did you freeze like that?
I-I dont know what happened. The girl answered quietly as she looked around herself in confusion. She was still feeling a little bit of shock from the experience. Why did everything seem so different now? How could she suddenly see chakra points so clearly when she could barely see them at all before? Everything j-just went white at first. Then it changed to the way it always looks, o-only clearer.
Hitomi could find no trace of injury in the young womans eyes or chakra pathways. If anything they seemed perfectly normal. Do you think you could try activating your byakugan again? She asked.
Again, Hinata thought for a moment. She didnt feel any pain or discomfort, so she nodded her head slowly and prepared to focus her chakra. Holding her breath and clearing her mind, she pushed her chakra into her eyes. Again the sudden flow of chakra was surprising, but not quite as overwhelming as before. There was no consuming white haze, just a brief flash and then all of the colour faded out again. Her byakugan felt just like it normally did, only everything seemed a little bit sharper. And most importantly, she could clearly see every one of the snow haired womans chakra points.
Well as far as I can tell, you seem fine. Hitomi said with a shrug. Are you saying that youve never been able to see chakra points like this before?
Hinata nodded. Y-yes, Ive only been able to see a few at a time, and only when I concentrated as hard as I could. She paused to think for a moment. Oh, e-except for one time, w-when I was on a mission in the Land of Water. I-I was with Narutos team a-and we were ambushed by Mist ninja. During the b-battle I was able to see chakra points, a-and even strike them. But afterward I c-couldnt see them anymore.
Hitomi scratched her head. Well thats weird. Ive never heard of a persons byakugan suddenly getting stronger like that, especially after severe ocular coil damage like you had. If anything I would expect them to get weaker! She deactivated her own byakugan and gave the girl a lop-sided smile. But I guess its nothing to complain about. After all, this means you should have no trouble learning my advanced medical ninjutsu techniques.
The girl slowly began to smile as she thought about that. She didnt understand why, but her eyes were keener now. That meant she could get stronger than ever before. And that meant she would be even less of a burden to Naruto. With a little bit of effort, she managed to shut down her byakugan again, though afterward, she sort of wished she hadnt. Her newfound strength made her feel invigorated somehow, more confident. She wanted to use her new abilities, and find out just how far she could take them.
Hitomi meanwhile was back at the desk, recording even more notes. Yes, Im going to have to keep a very close eye on this kid. I think things are going to get very interesting.
Finishing her notes, Hitomi closed the girls medical file and headed for the door. Come on kiddo, Ive got something I want to say to you two.
Hinata shook herself out of her thoughts and followed the woman into the living room. She smiled and tried not to blush as she caught sight of the blonde haired boy out on the balcony. She wondered what he would think of her new strength.
Get over here whiskers. Ive got an announcement to make. Hitomi called out to the boy.
Dont call me that! Naruto yelled as he stomped over and stood next to a slightly blushing lavender eyed girl.
Hitomi stood before the pair, with her hands on her hips and a broad smirk on her face. Congratulations boys and girls. As of today, I am declaring both of you to be fully recovered.
Alright, finally! The boy yelled, pumping his fist in the air. That means we can start training again, right?
Youd better believe it, spiky. Hitomi said with a roguish smirk. In fact, first thing after lunch, Im going to put you two through your paces. If the three of us are going to be working together, then I have to know exactly what you kids are capable of.
Hitomi stood back and smirked as the boy bounced around, yelling and cheering, while the girl watched him, her head held a little higher than usual. Oh yes, this should be very interesting indeed.













Critiques
Plot:
This is a fairly original plot, as it is about Naruto having to abandon his village and friends in order of being safe because he's done something that requires him to do so for a shorter or longer periode of time. (I have read a few fanfics that attempts to do the same.) And this is offcourse devastating for Naruto who dreams of becoming the Hokage! But when you toss Hinata into the mix, it's gets a whole lot more interesting and more original!
How will they cope having to leave?
What will happen from this point on?
How will Hinata handle being around Naruto 24/7?
Will Naruto figure it out that she likes him?
Will they come out of this ordeal, hand in hand as a couple, or just as friends?
What about their family and friends?
ETC.
There are so many questions that needs answering, and hopefully more mesmerizing chapters in store for us, I can barely control myself!
Your chapters leading up to this is well thought out and planned, and it makes this fanfiction run so much smoother. You drop us hints and leaves us hanging on the edge of a cliff (or sitting on the edge of our seats as the case might be), making us come back for more each time. We (at least I) don't notice how long the chapters are, because they are so good in both language and content that they make us forget space and time as they keep us enthralled the whole way.
Language:
The language you use to describe people and their characteristics (feelings, thoughts, behaviour, interaction, appearance etc), even your OC's, are very detailed and on-the-mark (at least that is what I feel like it does, you've nailed all their personalities and quirks so well), but not to the degree that it makes it boring. It's easy-flowing and natural, even unpredictable at times, spiced with a few lesser used words, which I really appreciate. It's non-repetitive (meaning using same phrases/words etc over and over again) and I deeply admire that.
The environment is also cleverly described so it's easy for us to envision. The OC's and the battle scenes with your OC's are also well played out, making at least me feel like it could have been a person from the original manga.
Pace:
The pace of this story, and the gradual development of the characters and the interaction between them takes my breath away.
I'm having a hard time finding the proper words to describe how I feel about the pace, but I'll give it my best shot:
When we start this story/journey, they are the usual selves and everything seems normal as it can be, but we quickly learn that they will have grow up under the circumstances of an impending war from many fronts. We have them facing their fears, struggling through battles, the pain and suffering both mentally and physically, almost loosing their friends and/or loved ones and lying in the hospital, learning they have to leave in order of being safe on the cost of their status. We see ALL THIS, both from the inside and the outside, and it just sucks us into the story even more.
For example, we can clearly see that they are slowly becoming more mature, more confident and secure with themselves, but still fall back into "old" tendencies such as Naruto's bold, loudmouthed and brash behaviour (still with his soft and warm side we all love about him) and Hinata's stuttering and shyness. This is very normal for people to do, and shows a normal person in growth.
Hinata's desire to not becoming a burden for Naruto is pushing her on to sucess, and to teach her medical jutsu is just a stroke of pure genious. WHY hasn't anybody thought of that yet?! (I've have thoughts about it to tell you the truth, but have never been able to put it down in words.)
My thoughts:
With your descriptions and lovely writing-language, I've catched myself do everything from a slight smile to a whole-heartily laugh, feel my heart cleanch itself in agony and to actually have a tear trickling down my cheek. Every string you could have pulled have been pulled, and my whole register of emotions from the saddest of sad to the happiest to the angriest and everything in between, have been played on.
The details and the hard effort you clearly put into this because you LOVE this, is simply amazing. I admire you and your work very much and you have inspired me so much you probably won't believe it, to become a better writer.
I salute you, and will eagerly await for the chapters to come.
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